Monday, August 02, 2004


Hi All,

Just something that I started today. Had wanted to do this for a long time now, but guess I had "too many excuses", and talked myself out of it each time, hoping someday I would get to it. And today it was to be, and so here I am, penning down my first few words.

I wonder why I wanted to write this. Mostly maybe because this is a nice anonymous medium to express myself. Would be a nice collection when you go back and read it. Almost like a personal diary, though a little public :)

Well, to start off with, lately things havent been upto their mark (Transferred Epithet.. that was for moi!). Have been in KL for almost 3 months now, away from home, away from my heart. There is feeling of "uprooting my roots", maybe since this is the very first time I am away from home. Suddenly realise that I have all the freedom, I have all the time, and I have all the resources, and that I am the master of myself.. somethings which I wanted for a long time now. And when I have finally arrived, I have this feeling of loss! As if something very dear to my heart has been taken away. Wonder what. Wonder why...

This is the very first time I have been away from home. Always wanted to see, if I was put out in the world, what was it to be like. I have been way too protected all my life, given my rebelilious nature, I did take liberties but they were always calculated and cautious. So when here I am at the brink of complete freedom, why is there is a tear in my eye?

Realised that all along when I said that emotions didnt matter to me, they infact did! Mattered more than I accounted for. Somewhere deep down, all I need is a home, and my loved ones. Feel like a lost puppy out in the world, looking for a dear one, when there is none. Have realised that you may open your heart to quite a few but it is rare that you get reciprocated with the same. So till the tide ebbs... I would hang on; would find small delights in things.. small wonders like writing here maybe :)

And with this I start off, a small little personal writings of my own. A daily episode as promised, if and when possible.

And with that, Adios.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liked that this can be written down so simply. Irrespective of the amount of time, guess this holds true for majority.

4:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

soooooooooo how are you doing now? it's great how you have so much free time. Go get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:35 PM  

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